21 Questions for a New Relationship
21 questions for a new relationship? Here’s how to get your answers faster than you imagined, and without scaring him off…
So, you’re in a new relationship. It’s exciting, as the butterflies in your belly constantly remind you. But you have questions, lots of them, and rightly so…
As a certified relationship and life coach, I’ve heard all the questions you’re probably asking, and I’ll give you those questions here. In fact, I’ll go one better and even answer most of those questions for you! You’ll see how in a moment…
But first, it’s important to keep any personal insecurities in check and make sure your questions aren’t unjustified suspicions or doubts as a way of sabotaging your (potential) happiness.
People do it to themselves all the time!
Be sure you aren’t letting any prejudices about past relationships (usually infidelity related) affect your perspective on this current one.
Assuming you’re keeping the inner skeptic in check, let’s roll out these 21 questions for a new relationship…!
The questions you need to ask in a new relationship are not the ones you should ask
As I’m sure you guess, the questions you need answers to should not be directly asked to his face.
Why?
Two reasons:
1. He may just be telling you what you want to hear. We all tend to wear a mask that most fits society or the situation we’re in.
2. You don’t want him to run away because he thinks you’re a Husband-Seeking-Missile (that’s a technical term in the relationship coach world that I coined in my bestselling book, Kiss Fewer Frogs).
The questions I get and the questions you need to ask come in a variety of wrappers, but they really all boil down to these three:
1. Is he The One?
2. Does he truly love me?
3. Will he ultimately commit to a monogamous relationship?
Right?
I hope you’ll agree those three questions pretty much cover it for now. Any more than those three (or variations of them), and you might consider what I mentioned before about self-sabotage :)
Great. So, what about the 21 questions for a new relationship that I promised?
Okay, here’s the bombshell…
You’re in a new relationship with one of only seven types of male…
Which one is yours?
This is what my award-winning and bestselling research and book is based on, and you’re about to see the truth of this for yourself as you identify the guy you’re in a new relationship with and get the answers to those three questions.
Seven completely different types of guys, three crucial questions to ask about each, that’s 21 questions for new relationships.
Why ask 21 questions when only three tell you all you need to know?
Know these seven different types of guys, and the mystery about men will vanish. You will see that there is no one-size-fits-all relationship advice. You’ll also see that there is no “Prince Perfect,” but there is a prince who’s perfect for you. And, with this power, you will be able to capture that man’s heart in a way that not even his own mother could. You will know him better than he knows himself. As a result, you will possess the key to his soul.
You’re getting more than you bargained for by being here, I hope! So, let’s ask that first question to these seven guys…
Relationship Questions one to seven: Is he The One?
Your first step is to identify which one of the seven types of guys you’re in a new relationship with…
The full profiles are listed here, along with some explanation. You’ll see the truth of this immediately because you’ll see all the guys you know or knew (including exes).
When you’ve definitely, and I mean really, really definitely found the type of guy you’re in a new relationship with, ask the first question:
“Are you The One?”
I’d hate to rain on anyone’s parade but identifying the guy you’re with in all his glory just now may make you want to switch relationships, but you can also see that we all have our flaws.
But let’s stay on track and assume you’re happy with the choice of guy you’re now in a new relationship with…
This “Is he The One?” question is critical! The most important question you could ever ask in your while life is who you should spend it with!
Okay, so assuming you believe he’s The One, let’s move on the next part of our 21 questions for a new relationship…
Relationship Questions eight to fourteen: Does he truly love me?
Next up, before we look at how to know if each of these seven guys truly love you, take a look at my separate “4 Types of Love” sheet to make sure you know what kind of love you’re experiencing in this new relationship: infatuation, in love, conditional love, or unconditional love.
Now, let’s see how each of these seven types of guys would show you that they truly love you…
Notes:
When you consider the profile for each type, the answers to this question will make sense.
• Passion Level is given on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest. This lets you know if the level of passion he shows you is merely a function of his profile. For example, if his profile indicates he’s a passionate person but he’s not being passionate with you, you know there’s a problem. Conversely, if his profile shows him as not a particularly passionate person, then you know it’s his nature not to be.
• I Love You Factor is rated 1 to 5, with 5 being most inclined to tell you he loves you and express his feelings to you. This is particularly useful early in a relationship when you’re gauging if he loves you or not—as well as how likely he will say “I love you” before you do.
How to know if a Type 1 loves you:
Passion level: 1
“I Love You” Factor: 1
How to know if a Type 2 loves you:
Passion level: 3
“I Love You” Factor: 2
How to know if a Type 3 loves you:
Passion level: 5
“I Love You” Factor: 5
How to know if a Type 4 loves you:
Passion level: 4
“I Love You” Factor: 5
How to know if a Type 5 loves you:
Passion level: 4
“I Love You” Factor: 4
How to know if a Type 6 loves you:
Passion level: 4
“I Love You” Factor: 2
How to know if a Type 7 loves you:
Passion level: 3
“I Love You” Factor: 2
Simple, right?
Love doesn’t have to be as hard you thought!
So, we’ve seen fourteen of the 21 questions for a new relationship, let’s move on to the final set of questions…
21 New Relationship Questions fifteen to twenty-one: Will he ultimately commit to a monogamous relationship?
Perhaps you’re starting to see a pattern?
Yes, it’s a constant trade off. Nobody is perfect, but somebody is perfect for you. I also believe that any partnership can work regardless of the profile in question, and this awareness you’re building about him is the key.
Okay, let’s ask the last question…
Notes:
When you consider the profile for each type, the answers to this question will make sense.
• Fear of Commitment level is given on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest level of fear. This allows you to take into account how much of any fear of commitment is a function of his nature versus your relationship with him.
Type 1:
Fear of commitment level: 1
Type 2:
Fear of commitment level: 4
Type 3:
Fear of commitment level: 3
Type 4:
Fear of commitment level: 4
Type 5:
Fear of commitment level: 5
Type 6:
Fear of commitment level: 3
Type 7:
Fear of commitment level: 2
So that’s your 21 questions for a new relationship, and I hope you can now see that there’s actually only three questions that apply to your relationship once you’ve identified the type of guy you’re with.
And those are the questions that count the most in a new relationship!
Remember not to get swept away by the honeymoon factor. You’re now entering into this new relationship with your eyes now hopefully as open as your heart, as it should be in any new relationship.
I hope you got the answers you were looking for!
Assuming you did, the next step for you is to nurture and empower this new relationship. Enter your email below to get the next blog and/or get more information on Kiss Fewer Frogs.
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